"A
dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. A goal is
what you specifically intend to make happen. Dreams and Goals should be
just out of your present reach, but not out of sight. Dreams &
Goals are coming attractions into your life." Campbell
Well, the weather has turned for the better. We had a bit of snow but that didn't interfere with my running as I've been nothing but a lazy bitch for the past two weeks. Week 1 of my laziness ended with me foregoing my first run of Week 2, as my cat was ill, had lost a lot of weight and was cold to the touch. As you'll know from an earlier post, he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and I really thought that this was it. A run probably would have made me feel marginally better but I couldn't bear to be away from him even if only for an hour. It turns out that he has a bug and an anitbiotic and vitamin injection has set him to rights. The little bugger is now asleep under my bed. So that was Friday.
The weekends I don't run away so fast forward to Monday. This was the last day of my monthly visitor and I have to say that it was more bearable than it normally is. I know that exercise is supposed to make it easier to deal with but this has never been true in the past. Maybe running is the exercise that offers the most physical benefits? Either way, I was pleased that I wasn't tired and shaky that I normally was and probably could have gone for a run....but I didn't. I then came down with another cold, which wasn't too bad, but then how can you breathe with a bunged-up nose?
Fast forward to the following Monday and I was too lazy to go, Tuesday I was in London all day, Wednesday I was knackered from being on my feet for all of Tuesday, Thursday I don't run, Friday I couldn't be arsed and I don't run on weekends.
So as you can see, I don't really have an excuse, I was just bloody bone-idle.
I knew that I had to get back into running asap though and I found that I missed it in a way (I know, I can't believe I just said that either!). It is slowly becoming a part of my normal routine. I still haven't lost any weight though and after talking to my sister, she thinks that it's the protein shake that I have after every run. I thought that due to the strain I am putting my body under considering my weight, that a protein shake would be a good idea in order to help my body recover. I had read on the internet that this was a good idea and that it could actually help with weight-loss. My sister, on the other hand, says that this is not true and that I should stop drinking it. I originally planned to finish the protein shakes and then concentrate on weight-loss but to be honest, my priority is weight-loss over exercise. I really want to be slim and deserve to be so, and for that reason, I will forgo the shakes for 1 month and see what a difference this makes (if any).
As with my running programme - today was day 1 of week 2, which requires 90 seconds of running with 2 minutes of walking for 20 minutes....and I finished the whole bloody thing and didn't stop once! I know that this probably sounds like nothing to you but for me, it is a big deal and I am amazed at how far I have come. I'm still not the fastest runner and I still keep putting my head down, but considering I couldn't even run for 30 seconds and my asthma was a problem when I first started, this is a big achievement for me! I actually can't wait for week 3 (I know, I can't believe that I just said that either!).
I have also had a nice surprise from one of the readers of my sister's blog - they've sponsored me £20 for Race for Life! Someone I have never met, has sponsored me. Amazing! Especially considering how none of my friends have sponsored me, including a girl who was shaving her head and cycling from London to Paris with her wife. I sponsored them both £2.50 for each event but did they sponsor me? No! I wasn't expecting much but to return the gesture (personally) I don't think was too much to ask. I shall remember this. The cousin who was also supposed to run the London Marathon but didn't (which we all knew would happen anyway. 5-weeks before the event, she had only run 2-miles!), also hasn't sponsored me. I shall remember this.
Anyway, I don't want to leave this entry a bit annoyed so I shall once again focus on my achievements and how I feel really good this morning. Time for a hot shower, a cup of hot tea and some perving of some major TV hotties as a reward.
UPDATE:
This is something that I really need to get off my chest and is something that has also been noticed by my sister - that is, that my Mum is trying to sabotage all of my plans.
This has been going on for a while but I didn't realise how big a problem it is...or rather, how conscious a decision it is.
Whenever I tell my parents that I'm going on a diet, Dad is supportive but Mum doesn't say anything. She will then buy stuff such as teacakes (the biscuit, chocolate and marshmallow kind) or a bar of Dairy Milk 'for you' etc. I thought that she had just forgotten that I was on a diet and so didn't think anything of it but then this keeps happening alot. I eventually mentioned to my sister about this and she said that Mum does the same thing to her. Mum is by no means slim herself. She lost alot of weight on the GI diet and was looking really good. For the past 6-months however, her snacking has really got out of control and her diet is unhealthy. The weight has gone back on to the extent that she is the biggest I have seen her. All of the weight goes onto her belly and to be honest, she looks pregnant. She obviously doesn't think that she has a problem however, as she is still able to get into her size 18 jeans. The problem is, those jeans give her two bellies, they are so tight! She has also said that she finds it hard to do up her shoes and that it hurts. Why then, if she is suffering health problems because of her weight, does she attempt to keep me fat?! The other day, she brought in a packet of Fox's chocolate-chip biscuits, which she knows I absolutely love. She opened the packet and started eating one as she walked in from the kitchen. Although she didn't offer me one, I got the impression that the whole action had been for my benefit. You know when you just know that? I don't appreciate it. I've already told her a few times before to stop buying me stuff like that but it's in one ear and out the other. I used to think that it was a subconscious thing but now I think that she is actually doing it deliberately. Is she really so insecure? Can she not just be happy for me and supportive? Don't get me wrong, I love my Mum and in everything else, she has always been so supportive but why does she do this? Has anyone else ever experienced this? How did you overcome it/deal with it?
Oh yeh, and just to piss me off all the more, I've got another sodding cold.
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