Exercise and tattoos

16th April 2012

So it's been two days since Lewey died and there have been more tearful moments. I cried myself to sleep last night and actually surprised myself a bit. Usually I am a silent and private crier but last night I was overcome with great wracking sobs. I really do miss him and I almost cried again when I wrapped myself in my pink blanket. Usually Lewey would then climb straight on and settle straight down and of course now he will never do that again.

I am planning on getting a memorial tattoo of him on my left inner-forearm. I want him with my forever and this is the closest I can get. I know that I shall see him again but it's still too far away.

His death has also taught me that we really should live life to the full. He got an extra year after having radical surgery last year and he spent it doing all of the things that he loved. Namely eating, sleeping, purring, sleeping, eating and more sleeping! He was always really affectionate and never held it against me when I gave him some really bitter tasting opium-based painkillers. I did tell him at the time that it was for his own good and that I was making him take them because I loved him and I genuinely think that he understood.
I don't know if you have read my previous entries but I am seriously over-weight and it has stopped me from doing a lot of things. That is to say, that I have stopped myself from doing a lot of things because of my weight. Weirdly, when you're fat, you use it as a shield and you want to be invisible, but it is at this point that you are anything but. There is no more time for excuses. I owe it to Lewey to get fit and healthy and live life to the full because you never know when life is going to throw you a curveball.

With this in mind, I resumed my kettlebell exercises. I wanted to go for a run but since I have weak glutes, I thought that I would do the kettlebell exercises for every day this week and really get some strength work in. I do not want to experience Runner's Knee again. Today I did two sections of the workout which works on your hips. glutes, lower-back, triceps and balance. Tomorrow is lunges. Oh yay.  I thought that my fitness would be back to zero but it's actually not bad.

I'm also due to go on holiday in a few weeks and fully intend on taking my running stuff with me so that I can keep up with my training and go running with my sister. Slimming World has also come back into my life and I am feeling really good about it. I think that Lewey's death has flicked a switch and I am now committed to making permanent and sustainable changes in my life, instead of quick and unrealistic fixes.